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Rick Cuthbert Astley

by stellar art wars

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about

Fan Fiction Horror Slasher in the Barry George Bulsara vein includes rap and instrumental, 100 bpm

sources at archive.org/details/RickCuthbertAstley

lyrics

there was once a loner
in a house at the top of the hill
he got snowed up one winter
and he became quite ill

listening to 80s hits
that sounded all the same
so rick cuthbert astley
became our hero's name

who knows why cuthbert
a likely legal case
if it called himself rick astley
prosecution he could face

so rick cuthbert astley
rolled discretely into town
his car it had no engine
but the only way is down
he went into the hardware store
and in a bizarre manner
rick cuthbert astley
insisted trying every hammer
and rick cuthbert astley
tried to buy a knife
the shopkeeper refused to serve him
and he paid for it, with his life

he finished both assistants off
with callous hammer blows
he stole himself a jigsaw
and cut of the body's nose

next he hit the garage
aqnd said his car won't start
with no engine and no bonnet
the mechanic said
are you having a laugh

so rick cuthbert astley
grabbed a lever used to change a tire
coshed the man across the head
and set his gaff on fire

he might have chose the wimpy
but there wasn't many there
by this time he had stripped off nude
rick cuthbert astley didn't care

instead he went to dominos
and in a scene from hell
he picked up several kitchen blades
like dominos the stabbed staff fell

rick cuthbert astley
went looking for some fun
he crept into a primary school
and fucked a teacher up the bum

he made a beeline for the shed
and took a rotavator
rick cuthbert astley fired it up
and mauled the kids
like an alligator

with blood and gore and arms and legs
he stamped on their heads
with his boot
decked in segs

so rick cuthbert astley
was finally rounded up
he managed to bite six coppers
then pissed in the sergeant's cup

credits

released June 29, 2016

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stellar art wars Halstead, UK

Stellar Art Wars- possibly our best name but not our only one- is just one of many such collectives/circles/cliques of musicians around the world, This album offers a unique insight into the musical diversity of one such group.

Bands are families, all related , and this represents just a small part of the un-famous side of Essex's rock 'n' roll family tree.

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